After my husband left me, I could barely get up in the morning. I felt lethargic, low on energy, and lacking inspiration to get through the day. I spent hours and hours dissecting what went wrong, wallowing in feelings of hurt, betrayal, and emptiness.

My husband and family was the major source of my happiness. Our relationship gave the rest of my life purpose and meaning. Living apart after our breakup, I came to realize what a great gift it was to be loved, wanted, and needed. Sometimes you have to lose someone close to you to realize what you value the most in life.

Soon I came to realize that to survive I had to heal from my pain quickly. I needed to assess why my husband left me and what contributory behaviors I needed to personally own responsibility for.

It meant that rather than whining to all my friends, I needed instead to take some form of positive action. Most of all, I had to learn to love myself again so that I could be fit to love another.

And I had to decide for myself if it was worth it to fight for the goal of winning my ex back or if I should just resign myself to letting go forever.

Once I came to the decision that I didn’t want to give up on my ex, I learned to better detach my own feelings and needs from the situation and to let calmness and rationality take over. Getting a better focus on my ex’s wants and needs helped me to follow a specific plan which ultimately brought us back together.

I went from playing the part of the victim to becoming a more loving partner– one that can give and receive affection more freely and one who truly deserved to live happily ever after again in a loving relationship.